The mere mention of "goal setting" often elicits eye rolls and groans from just about everyone. And honestly, who can blame them? In my years working with teams and individuals across various sectors, It's a familiar cycle: organizations mandate goal-setting exercises, people dutifully write down objectives they think sound good, and then those documents gather digital dust until the next review cycle. This happens even for folks who DO truly believe in goal setting and think it's a good idea. It simply gets lost in the grand scheme of all the things going on every day.

Probably most of us have had that direct report (or BEEN that direct report) who just doens't connect with having to write goals. Why spend the time? What is it for? They don't find it motivating at all. And it's relegated to a silly HR checkbox that has to be checked.

So if this is happening everywhere, what's the point?

The biggest hurdle in effective goal setting isn't the mechanics of writing SMART objectives or creating detailed action plans. It's getting people to genuinely care about the goals they're setting. Without emotional investment, goals become nothing more than bureaucratic exercises or forgotten items on a to-do list.

Three Approaches That Actually Work

Instead of going through the motions with traditional goal-setting methods that often fail, here are some things that have worked for me that might work for you too:

1. Understand Each Person's Relationship with Goals

Start by exploring how people naturally think about achievements. This is about meeting them where they are, not where some management book says they should be. Ask questions like:

• Do you set personal goals, or just professional ones?
• Are you someone who works steadily toward milestones, or do you tend to hyperfocus on things until they lose their appeal?
• Can you think of a goal you accomplished in the last six months? What was your process?

These questions help people understand their own goal-setting patterns and allow you to tailor an approach that works with, not against, their natural tendencies.

This conversation can be revelatory for many people. Helping them recognize what goals they actually DO set, even if not explicitly, helps them realize how they naturally break down tasks and things they want to accomplish every day. Maybe they're someone who plans elaborate vacations by researching and organizing every detail, or even just committed to cooking more often and how they accomplished that task. These patterns reveal how they naturally approach accomplishing things.

2. Create a Future Story One of my favorite approaches is asking, "What's the story you want to tell about yourself a year from now?" This flips the common "letter to your younger self" exercise (which I personally don't really like) by putting people in their future seat. What would your future self want to say you accomplished this year?

For me personally, I really relate to the vision board style of this exercise — what do I want my year to look like? What words or images jump out at me when I'm looking through magazines? What am I trying to avoid? This process helps me turn visuals into concrete thoughts about what I want to achieve and how I might do that.

This approach works beautifully because it taps into a personal narrative and identity that feel more "me" and more compelling. (Hot tip, because I'm always talking about how to facilitate conversations effectively, vision-boarding is an awesome group workshop activity that can be done using physical OR virtual boards.) The conversations that emerge and what people realize about their goals for the upcoming year are often better (and easier to translate in to words) than what comes from traditional goal-setting exercises.

3. Break It Down to Build Momentum Once someone has identified meaningful goals (starting small with just 1-2 things), help them break these down into manageable steps that match their working style. The right breakdown feels achievable rather than overwhelming, making it less likely they'll abandon the goal midway. Draft a dew of these smaller items and then ask - when you look at these steps, do they feel exciting to tackle or do you start thinking of everything else on your to do list you could do instead of these steps? It's a great gut-check.

Making Goals Matter

While I don't have a strong preference for any particular goal framework, I do find that SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) provide a useful check. But more importantly, I always encourage asking: "Is accomplishing this goal completely within my control?" If not, it might need to be reframed.

A common pitfall I've observed is that people often pick a goal of accomplishing a specific project, but they actually have no control over whether that project gets prioritized or if the scope changes dramatically. It's really important to think about what you can do that's within your control and also the WHY behind it. Why does learning a particular skill seem interesting? What will it enable you to do?

The true test of effective goal setting isn't how well the goals align with some prescribed format — it's whether people naturally reference and work toward them without being prompted. When team members start mentioning their goals in one-on-ones unprompted, or when they excitedly share progress updates, that's when you know you've helped create goals that actually matter to them.

When we reimagine goal setting not as an administrative requirement but as creating the story we want to tell, the process moves from obligation to opportunity. The secret isn't in the framework—it's in connecting goals to what actually matters to each person.